Vandalism of cemetery

Cemetery etiquette are the manners we practice when visiting a cemetery or columbarium. These manners are how we show respect to our departed ones and fallen veterans, when taking photographs, doing genealogy research, or getting ideas for our own marker. The majority of us would never deface graves, like the above photo shows, but are there any less obvious ones we should avoid?

As a youngster, I don’t remember reading much about cemetery etiquette from Ann Lander’s newspaper column or Emily Post’s book. But I do remember that all of my elders expected everyone to behave in a way that was respectful, and kids couldn’t run wild.

Here are some guidelines for conduct in a cemetery:

  • Never litter, that includes picking up cigarette butts, spent flowers, torn flags, or other debris.
  • Do not remove coins, raw tobacco, or other objects found atop grave mounds or tombstones.
  • Do not drive over graves.
  • Avoid blocking the road or driveway.
  • If a speed limit is not posted, do not exceed 10 miles/hr.
  • Be respectful – no matter your personal feelings.
  • Remember, these plots (owned real estate) are owned by the deceased or the family; you are a guest.
  • Never desecrate a graveyard with bodily fluids, spray paint, or vandalism.
  • Toppled or broken tombstones are not freebies – this is theft.
  • Do not remove fresh flowers, vases or urns, or other grave site objects.
  • Gravestones cannot – and should not – be cleaned without first obtaining permission from the cemetery or family member of the deceased. This is a huge topic of contention – leaving stones as is, for preservation of inscription; or cleaning, which can degrade the stone.
  • Repair of stones should be done by a certified stonemason.
  • We were taught not to walk or sit on graves. I never could keep this guideline. It’s not practical when adding flowers, taking photographs, or spilling a conversation and 10 year old scotch with a loved one.
  • Tempting… do not enter someone else’s mausoleum – even if the door is unlocked or open; it is trespassing.
  • Caretakers may be willing to direct you to older sites, unique, or famous graves, and are a wealth of information.

The bottom line: treat a cemetery like a church, national park, or library – show respect.

Sis